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Category Archives: Poem

New Day

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Taking out the trash
I look up to see
Moon during the day
In a clear blue sky

Practicing a state of surrender
Feeling the depths of the sea
The vast ocean of chaos and creation
Swirling around me

Aware of my weaknesses
Lures of bringing justice
Bait of being right
Are the hooks that can pull me under

Challenging my mind
To not look back
Into the rearview mirror
Reflecting only what I want to remember

Focusing my breath
Finding stillness
Eye toward the possibilities, potentials
Feeling the freedom of Here

Water & Light

Water & Light

Water, Light and WFM in the sea. What more does a boy need? Destin, FL August, 2013.

State of Disunion

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State of Disunion

In November
I made a pact with the Universe
To let it all Fall
Crumble
Tumble
To the ground
All the Dysfunction
Commotion and Static that were only
Distractions
From what Matters

My Intention to clear away
Structures that no longer Serve
Cutting the Cords that were choking us all
Severing the Ties, forever
With the Conductor and Instructor
Of Master Manipulation
Who magnified and perverted
What otherwise might have been
Normal, Developmental, Learning, Love
For reasons that circle around the Engineer in a whirlwind

Book II began
Ten days into the New Year
Caring, preparing, in New Ways
From a Center that is Sound
No longer part of the echo-chamber
That feeds The Destructor’s
Dizzy Mind and warps his Lens
Finding my wings to be
Free
Finally.

My Path, Clear
Different from the Ones I guide
No longer doing
What they do best for themselves
Even when it causes them pain
Witnessing, Loving are enough
Showing them how to Fly
So they can find Freedom too
When they are Ready
To unfurl their own winged appendages

Acting on this contract
Not knowing what it would look or feel like
To Witness
The Pain all around me, inside me
Nearly losing one of my own
From Choices Made
For the pain that rippled outward
From a Hurricane
That had been building
Impacting all in its path

Finding the strength to hold on
Let the storm pass
Soil turned up
Tearing down our house
Gutted, Flooded
Everything washed clean
Hope
To Build again
Two feet on the ground
To stand, withstand, all that comes next

Today
We live in a smaller
Peace Space
Temporarily here
Healing, Hoping
Making our changes visible
Rebuilding Home anew
Patience for New Structures Rising
That Serve
Our Family

Tiny Threads (2010)

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Disconnected
Uncertain of my place
Unfamiliar with the space
Above and around me
The ground too far below
Curled inward
I orbit redundantly
Around myself
A lost and dormant seed
In the wind
Spinning faster awakened by the sun
Spreading my limbs to slow my motion
Reaching out and grabbing hold
Of the tiny threads I can finally see
Part of the greater Mercy

Empathy for a Sociopath

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The stories that spin in my mind even I have come to believe.
I am the man behind the curtain of my own mind.
With one hand I weave and weave
Until you can no longer move beneath the web.
With the other, I tug, tug, tug
Until I completely yank out the rug and it all comes tumbling down.
I pull the marionette strings.
I rearrange the stars so you can no longer trust your compass.
All of this, so that I have something to do
With stories that spin in my head.
I am the man behind the curtain in my own mind.
These are the stories I have told myself.
This is either the way I was made or made to be.
Without the love of the first one who carried me here,
I am beholden to the man behind the curtain of my own mind.
I am powerless to the man behind the curtain of my own mind.
Gifted with charm and humor, I am ten steps ahead of where I want to take you.
Life through a skewed lens, astigmatism.
I would rather numb it, or distort it, or ignore it.
Indecision is my friend so that life can keep happening to me,
And none of this will be my fault.
I will slow it down and speed it up
Until my skewed view is the lens that you view the world through too.
When what you see and what you feel don’t match,
Then you will know how it feels to be me
And how dizzy it feels to be on this side of the curtain.

Unraveling (December 2012)

I am unraveling and I like it
Frayed edges, softer
Still woven, one piece, but looser
Parts transparent, thinning
Unstarched, wrinkled
Unraveling slowly, almost mid-life
It feels good, and comfortable for now

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July 2012 in Powhatan, LA at the old Moreland Dairy and Pecan Farm.

Reflections

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Full and pregnant with my third child
Moving slowly everything at half-speed
Chubby toddler hands cradle my cheeks
Gazing into my eyes seeing herself there
Reflected
“Mama, I am in your eyes.”
Then she asks if I see myself in hers
Before I see clearly sweet tears rise
Blurring the lines between us
Not ready to let go
Of this moment
Or the child moving pleasantly inside me
A cord connecting us
Always
Apart of each other
Holding on too long
Makes the pain grow
It is in the letting go
I find relief
And the next moment
And a new life
Changed forever having shared this connection
Part of each of us is with the other
Yes
I see me in you

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